Love of life

A bird in a corner. Four walls surrounding my freedom. The gilded cage. Trapped.

I hear a song. A lullaby for things gone.

I rest my head on my pillow and dream. A dream of you – my dream. A memory is shaking loose from my troubled long past. Dividing the sequences.

I left.

I’m gone. Through puzzles I fly. Unknown to you, unknown to all, my secret shall reveal. Too bad I, myself won’t get to see it.

It’s a chronicle. Of a bird. It’s a song that’s never going to get sung.

I stumble. I fall. I stay. Alone. I hear your breath and feel the smell of death. As it was that day. When they took you away. You were trying to escape. Only, your little body couldn’t stand the damage and it gave way to numbness and then, you were cold. You took the beating of the cage, trying to break it. Your little sparkly eyes that gazed ahead – to the light. To freedom.

The outer world. Beyond the cage.

We had a dream, you and I. To sing a song. In a tree somewhere. Gazing at the Sun. Feeling the warm breeze caressing our feathers. And just swingin’ to the jazz on a branch, we would be madly in love with laughing.

That’s all.

That was our little dream. Or maybe not so little after all.

And besides, you know, we wouldn’t have lasted the winter. We weren’t delusional. Just starving for freedom. And, you know, dear friend reading these lines, we just wanted a moment of freedom.

Just a taste.

Just a touch.

Just a smell.

Just a song.

Just a dream.

Just a cloud.

Just a tree.

Just some grass.

And the Sun – in our hearts.

And that, my friend, would have made it all worthwhile. Because, you know, – let me tell you if you don’t – that’s what life is all about. Oh, yes, my friend! That perfect moment, just one – of being, of breathing – LIFE! It doesn’t get much better than that.

This is the story. Of a bird and its little heart. Glorious sunshine all around. Someday, we will make it out. I’m just waiting for my next life to come.

Did you truly live today? Take a moment to think about it. That “smelling the roses” never gets old.

Heart…strings

You feel like you’re alone. And yet you’re not. You think you fell too hard this time to get up. And yet, you do. You think everything is lost. And yet, when you allow yourself to open up again, you realize so many possibilities are opened for you. You just have to take a chance. Again! With your heart, with your emotions, with your life.

Colours… everywhere.

The red nose and cheeks you get from the winter’s cold.

Taking a walk in the snow.

The smell of spring.

The laziness of summer.

An autumn rain.

From heart to heart… they sing.

It’s a song with notes you don’t get to hear until you allow yourself to laugh. Again. For the first time in a long while.

To trust again.

That everything will be alright.

That life doesn’t give you more than you can handle. And it always gives it with love. As after every painful situation you go through, you come back stronger.

I woke up thinking – today is not a good day. In fact, it sucks! But maybe, just maybe… after my self pity party is gone, I’ll see the sun again.

The sun in my heart. The sun in my friends’ hearts.

Life will be beautiful again. And actually, if I were honest, I think it’s always beautiful – because, you know, we’re here!

I just… want to be able to allow myself to be completely opened to the happiness that’s waiting for me… at the end of today. No later than tomorrow.

But please, allow today to be a little grey!

Useless Questions

In the dim streets,

Where the sunlight becomes tattered,

I watch

As I float like dust.

The shadows of my longing, 

Being trampled and trampled,

Getting up again,

The houses and streets and trees

Shaking silently,

Making a path for my cries

Towards the world.

Choi Seungja

E poi... sai, la vita...

E poi, sai, sono andata via. Perché non potevo più vivere con la solitudine in quella casa in mezzo al mare... La tempesta è venuta un giorno, così, senza preavviso. Non mi aveva detto niente, è semplicemente venuta. Io non li avevo fatto niente. Forse sei stato tu ad arabiarla quando te ne sei andato senza dire niente. Eppure ti sentivo ancora... da qualche parte del mondo. Questo mondo vasto e solitaro... dell'acqua... questo azzurro che mi fa confondere la nostra casa con il cielo. E così mi sono un po' perduta... in cammino... verso te... andavo a cercarti. Non mi hai lasciato niente... nessuna parola... nessun sorriso... nessun pianto... nessuna traccia di te non ho trovato, eppure ho cercato. In mezzo al mare sono caduta. Se torni, non mi troverai più qui. Sai, sono andata via. In quel momento nel quale la mia disperazione aveva raggiunto il punto culminante, allora ho scoperto una nuova vita... la vita dall'altra parte del cielo. L'altra metà del cielo... l'altra metà del'aqua... e sono partita. Tra le onde e le nuvole ho scoperto il sole. Ho scoperto il mio respiro. E ho preso uno, poi un altro... e di nuovo, non riuscivo a fermarmi. E 'stato in quel momento - quando mi sono accorta che ero viva! Eppure sì, eppure no! Sono io e non lo sono! Sono tua, eppure sono mia. Oppure tu sei me e io sono te! Vai via, vai via! Io non ti voglio qui! Non ti voglio più qui! Mi fai proprio paura! Ma sei diventato proprio come uno specchio! O lo sei stato sempre? Ma ogni volta che ti guardo, vedo me!? Ma come è possibile? Siamo latti della stessa anima? Siamo lo stesso corpo? No! Non puo essere! Allora vuol dire che non sono stata mai sola - neanche quando sei partito? Vuoi dirmi che così viviamo noi, questi esseri che ci chiamano uomini, insieme, uno nel altro? E alla fine, credo che hai ragione... perché, vedi, sentiamo tutti gli stessi dolori, piangiamo le stesse lacrime, ridiamo, ci danno gioia le stesse cose e ci fanno felici i stessi fatti semplici della vita... e poi, sai, siamo ognugno di noi speciale e differente dal altro, ma allo stesso tempo siamo uguali. Che le nostre anime sentano! Che le nostre anime amino! Che le nostre anime piangano! E io ti amo! Sì! Ti amo! Con tutto quello che ho dentro di me - ti regalo me! Così, come sono! Un po' brutta, un po' maliziosa, un po' felice e a volte un po' triste, un po' egoista, un po' timorosa della vita, un po' troppo impulsiva, un po'... come dirti, un po' troppo di tutto. E se tutto questo è un sogno, non voglio svegliarmi mai! Adesso lo so... sei partito per darmi l'opportunità di scoprire il mondo. Sei il sentimento più bello che io abbia mai sentito! Sei il cielo più chiaro che io abbia mai visto! Sei il sorriso più caro del mondo! Quanto amo la tua faccia felice e i tuoi occhi chiari che mi guardano con tanta gentilezza... e ti sento come una carezza nella notte fredda di me stessa... E sono andata lì, laggiù, dentro di me per scoprirmi... E sai quando l'ho fatto? Dopo che sei partito! Eh, sì! Puoi credere che la gente non pensa che quando mi hai lasciato mi hai amato di più? Quel abbandono non è stato considerato una prove d'amore ma un atto terribile? E non è stato proprio un abbandono. No! E stato solo una pausa... che tu mi hai datto per ritrovarmi, per scoprirmi, per allungare le mie alli e volare. Amore, sono tornata! Sono tornata da te... e questo è il mio regalo per te. Non si puo comparare al tuo, ma poi, non li compariamo, vero? Solo amiamo! Ti regalo me! Sono io... la libertà, la felicità, l'aria, il profumo dei fiori più belli. Sono io... solamente io e ti amerò per sempre... nella tua  anima mi trovo. Lì, dove ti trovo anche a te. Dove ci amiamo, dove siamo solamente noi... nudi con i nostri sentimenti. Noi - senza maschere! Noi, quelli che amano. Noi, tutti gli uomini che ci troviamo su questa terra oggi! Ed io... che ti amo! Mondo! Ti amo!

P.S. Forse ho fatto degli errori, sapete, sto ancora imparando l'italiano, ma ho pensato che suona così bello in italiano che non ho potuto fare a meno di scrivere.

Butterflies

I sometimes feel that some spirits take the form of humans just to make us see what's right in front of us, but for some reason, we refuse to acknowledge. They come on a breath of air, smelling like flowers, bringing the sun in our lives even though outside, the sky is grey.

People that touch our hearts, just moments in time that may only be five minutes or just the hello you exchanged. People that out of the blue start talking to you in the park and because of the smile you shared, your day is brighter. Just... connections that form between people that apparently don't know each other. Maybe it's an acknowledgment of the spirits. Maybe it's just butterflies dancing in the sun's rays. Maybe that's just how the spirits see us. Maybe it's just that part of us we have forgotten. How we used to be: opened, free, happy, beautiful!

Today is the second day that people started talking to me in the park while walking my dog. Yesterday I met a math teacher, we strolled together for some time. We had something in common: both my dad and my brother are teachers. We talked about the stray dog we passed. It was so cute, it had a tennis ball and it kept playing with it. Actually, I think it was a he. So, he just let the ball fall down the hill - he was at the top - and then he would chase it. Then he went up again and he did the same thing over and over again. People stopped just to look at him play. He was spreading so much joy! And yet, we all went home and he stayed there, alone. I wish so much I could have taken him. I felt so small and humble in that moment! He was teaching us a great lesson: I have nothing but a ball to play with, I have no home, I may or may not find food, winter is coming, but I have this ball and today the sun is shinning, the leaves are falling and I'm having the greatest time ever!!! I'm happy just as I am. I don't think about tomorrow, I don't think what will be an hour from now. Why? Because I'm only here now! This moment is all that matters and I'm taking it down the hill with me, rolling in it, enjoying it! 

Yeah... time passes us by and most of the time, we even forget how to smile, too caught up in our "problems". But maybe we wouldn't have any if we just remembered how to live.

Look up, look up! There's the sun and the perfect sky and the perfect trees and the perfect life! Stop looking down all the time!

Today a biker said hello and smiled just because my dog wasn't on his leash when he passed by and I caught my cocker by the harness so he wouldn't get the impulse to run after the bicycle. He doesn't usually, but you never know. So, when he passed us by, the guy on the bike looked at me, smiled and said hi! I loved that moment! People I most likely won't meet again, but you shared something with them. Something like a smile that feels like a great gift.

Some people tell me I'm too opened, too naive... I don't think I am. I just am! Why hide myself after a screen of "not me", like oh, I'm serious 100% of the time (someone told me once "I thought you were a serious person. Now I see I'm wrong." just because I laughed at a joke), I don't smile, I don't laugh with all my heart. Oh, yeah! Absolutely! Let's live in a masquerade all the time. Let's always pretend that it will take us somewhere and we'll play it all our lives. Just until we forget who we are, then it won't be so difficult anymore. It will even feel natural.

I guess I'm in this writing mood due to a situation I went through recently - people close to me actually weren't so honest and not only this: today, I found out a great person died. She was only 24 years old. Her life hadn't been easy at all, but she was an inspiration to all. Her story is here (well, yes, it's in Romanian, sorry): http://totb.ro/fluturii-pleaca-mai-repede-dintre-noi .

And... well, my ending:

I'm just so in love with this life!

Pentru ca...

"Existenta pura se odihneste in fiinta eterna

La un moment dat in aceasta liniste a inceput "visul evolutiei". In acest vis existenta unica a devenit constienta de ea insasi.  In acest vis a aparut si "iluzia timpului". Iluzia trecutului si inchipuirea unui viitor. In realitate exista intotdeauna doar ACUM. In acest ACUM etern se intalnesc timpul si lipsa de timp, se determina deplin reciproc timpul si lipsa de timp. Evolutia inseamna ca samanta este pe cale de a deveni copac. Iluzia viitorului si a scopului determina drumul, ingaduie sa apara iluzia unui drum.

Iluzia timpului este precum o roata. Si asa cum se intampla mereu, doar o parte a rotii poate atinge drumul, asa cum doar o parte a ACUM-ului etern intra in contact cu ceea ce numim noi realitate. Totul este ACUM. Dar prin aceasta apare iluzia unei actiuni, iluzia unui trecut, prezent si viitor. Aceasta iluzie a actiunii are loc doar in exterior, deoarece in mijlocul rotii totul se invarte in jurul sau, iar in punctul de mijloc nu se misca nimic. Astfel apare iluzia, ca ceva apare si dispare din nou. In realitate nu a fost creat nimic niciodata si nimic nu va pieri. Totul este doar un vis, care se incheie la un moment dat. Nimeni nu are noroc, nimeni nu sufera - totul este un vis."

"Legile Spiritului - Kurt Tepperwein"

Wagasa - the traditional Japanese umbrella

Wagasa 「和傘」, the traditional Japanese umbrella made from bamboo and washi (Japanese paper), is renowned not only for its beauty but also for the precision open/close mechanism. 

The first folding umbrellas appeared in Japan around the year 1550 (before that, the only defense against rain were straw hats and capes) and they were initially luxury items. Later during the Edo period, wagasa became more accessible and people started using it not only for protection against rain or sun but also as a fashion accessory. Many ukiyo-e and vintage photos from Japan show women dressed in kimono assorted with matching wagasa.

Actually, wagasa is so popular in the Japanese tradition that it has its own… spirit. This is Tsukumogami, a kind of Japanese spirit said to appear from an object after 100 years, when… it becomes alive. The spirit of wagasa is called Karakasa Obake, umbrella ghost, a monster looking like a folded wagasa, with a single eye and a single foot wearing a geta.

Still known today as a center for the production of traditional Japanese umbrellas, manufacture of wagasa began in the Kano district of Gifu City in the middle of the 18th century. At that time, the state had feudal organization and the local lords had a great deal of economic and political autonomy within the domains to which they were assigned. The feudal lord who was transferred in to rule the feudal domain around Gifu had to contend with a local economy that was devastated by floods. He saw an opportunity to stimulate local industry and to provide the means to supplement the living of the impoverished lower samurai (warrior elite) by encouraging them to make umbrellas.   

The local area had a long history of paper making. Mino-washi, a local product, which was a strong handmade paper due to the long fibers it contained. Good quality bamboo was to be found in the valley of the Kiso River, and it was easy to obtain sesame oil and lacquer from the local mountains, indispensable for water proofing. These advantages made the area well suited for umbrella making, since the basic construction of Japanese umbrellas involves affixing paper over a frame of bamboo-strip ribs, and then applying oil and lacquer for waterproofing.   

Production peaked at the beginning of the 20th century, when over a million umbrellas per year were manufactured. Since then, the metal-and-cloth Western-style umbrella has become generally used, and the number of people who use Japanese umbrellas has dwindled. These days, the local craftworkers make only few tens of thousands of wagasa a year.   

The traditional Japanese umbrella uses only natural materials and, requiring several months to undergo the various separate processes that are needed for completion, the skilled hands of a dozen seasoned craftworkers contribute to the finished item. In addition to the usual type of rain umbrella, Gifu Wagasa also comes in various other types including large red outdoor parasols that are used to provide shade on outdoor occasions, such as tea ceremonies. Then there are smaller colorful buyo-gasa that figure in performances of traditional Japanese dance. Gifu Wagasa are an indispensable part of traditional Japanese art and culture.   

Wagasa’s paper is coated with oil to make it waterproof and at the same time, the coated paper becomes more solid. On the contrary, some Wagasa parasols are not coated with oil and thus they cannot be used during rainy days but only as protection from the sun.

 

The Bangasa umbrellas are usually bigger and thicker, with more ribs and they tend to be heavier, so they are mostly used by men. The colors are also simpler. However, there are no restrictions and women can also use Bangasa. Another type of Wagasa is the Janome Kasa, which on the contrary have less ribs and are lighter while colors can be very varied. These are mostly used by women.

The production process of Wagasa is completely handmade and takes a long time:

1. Prepare the material (bamboo, Washi paper, lacquer…)
2. Build the frame around a wooden core to create the structure
3. Match the size of the Washi paper to the structure
4. Attach the paper covering to the bamboo structure with glue and let it dry
5. Painting and lacquering of the Washi paper
6. Coating of the paper with linseed oil to make it waterproof
7. Drying of the coating which can vary from 4 to 15 days
8. Threads stitching and final decoration

Each part of a Japanese umbrella has a name and a function. For instance, the Nokizume (see picture below) are the parts of the ribs sticking out from the umbrella. These are often lacquered in red because of an ancient Japanese tradition. Indeed, at the beginning the very first umbrellas were only used by the Imperial family and aristocrats and they were said to be magical objects that could protect one from evil spirits and bad events and from this belief came the color red that was said to help prevent bad things from happening.

To preserve your Wagasa and insure its longevity you should store it untied and loosened in a well ventilated, dark place. It is also important to dry it well, for instance with a towel, after using it. It is best to let it open in a dark place until it is completely dry. Once dry, you can close it loosely and store it in a dark, well-ventilated place.It is important to not let the Wagasa in the sun to dry since the colors and patterns might tarnish.

Finally, it is possible to have your Wagasa umbrella repaired but, depending on its state, the reparation cost might be higher than the cost of a new umbrella. The number of artisans being able to do this reparation is also very limited. When the ribs of the umbrella are broken, it is then impossible to repair.

The western type of umbrella was brought to Japan during the Meiji period and, over time, completely replaced the wagasa, because of the higher resistance and much lower costs.
However, there are still several workshops producing wagasa in Gifu, Kyoto, Ishikawa, Tottori and Tokushima and wagasa is still used in traditional activities like tea ceremony, kabuki theater, Japanese dances or festivals.